Prioritizing time--How do I find the time?

By Nicole

To our followers:

First, thanks for reading our blog Imperfect Love! We know it's immensely imperfect, and so are we!
But writing this blog has been a spiritual and emotional adventure for me, and I really appreciate the feedback I've gotten along the way. I feel passionate about sharing what works (and doesn't work) in our blended family, and my humble lessons in co-parenting and love.

It's been several weeks since I've completed any piece of writing. (I have several that I've started, but never finished.)  Life has actually been so full lately that I haven't been able to write. Times like these, the best I can do is to make time to think about what I want to say next...

So many friends ask me how I even have the time to write a blog--they make a good point! When I write, I'm choosing NOT to do something else. But, isn't it true that we make time for what we want to? (In our free time that is.) We make choices every day as to what we'll do (or not do) with the time that we have.

We constantly have to decide--Which comes first? ...,or...? Or even, realizing that some days we just won't get to everything we want to do, and so we prioritize what's most important. (The reason why I haven't posted for awhile!)

Do I sit with my 6 year old and help him with his reading, or,  do I fold the laundry?
Do I spend time with my daughter while she plays, or, do I take 20 minutes and het the dinner going?

We constantly have to prioritize to achieve balance between work, play, time alone, time with a partner, time with the kids, time with each child individually, time with family, time to exercise, time to reflect and time to do the things we enjoy! It's tricky, and often the scale is tipped in one direction or another. But, when that happens, you add a little to the area in need to balance it out. When my house is all of a sudden a wreck, I have to pay attention to it! When I notice my 6 year old is whining a lot, I give him the one-on-one he seems to need to be happy again.

Prioritizing our time is an ongoing challenge, but it's necessary to achieve a balanced life in doing what we each value as important and what gives us meaning. If we consciously make decisions to do things, or not to do things, then we are probably less likely to be resentful at the end of the day for the choices we've made.

My ex-husband, has been gone for weeks working out of state now and is finally coming back for a visit. Since this is the first time that he's been away from the kids, it's been tough. But we're managing...We've all had to adjust, and somehow we're doing it. People might think that because Pat and I are divorced, I might be used to parenting our 3 boys without him, but actually I'm not. His daily role in the kids lives has always been significant. There is a lot of relief in knowing that this isn't permanent.

In so many ways, this period has been like a test on our family...we have all had to step up a notch.
With one parent away, all of us have had to adjust and adapt to our changed roles. Personally, I want to spend time with my children, even when life gets as busy as it is. And after that, or before, depending on the day, it's also the time I can spend alone for even a few minutes. And so when the scale is tipped in one direction..and the challenge of achieving balance goes on...


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