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the D word (when the word divorce isn't one you grew up with)

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By Nicole

My parents will have been married for 41 years. My entire experience of divorce was limited to a few couples who had a bitter separation followed by years of hardship (both for themselves and their children). So my divorce with Pat was strange for everyone, including me. Strange in the way that I don't have role models who do what we do.  But, navigating our way over the last couple of years, it turns out that we are figuring it out just fine. Last summer, my ex-mother-in-law visited from NY and said to my mother, "I don't get them, why they don't fight." My Mom said, "I  don't know but thank God they don't!" The only thing I can say is that we never really fought, it's just who we are. We both love our kids fiercely and when it comes to parenting, I couldn't do it this well without him! Our kids are young, we're in this together, married or divorced. Maybe that should be in the marriage vows ..." When we bring childre…

The best basketball play ever (A Dad's perspective)

Diabetes and Dinner and Dad - Everybody Eats Cool (ed) Food

February 29, 2012

Diabetes and Dinner and Dad – Everybody Eats Cool (ed) Food
Just to catch up anyone who might be new, I am a divorced dad with 3 children, one of which, Ryan-age 9, has diabetes. Cole is 7 and Owen is 4, all adorable, happy and very hungry at 6:30. And Dad gets dinner ready on Wed, a weekday, after Tae Kwon Do.
My organizational skills could be enhanced to say the least, so dinner time can be a confusing mass of boiling pasta, hungry kids, not enough cartoons, high BG and still homework to get done! Oh, what little time there is on weeknights for it all, especially after sports!
But my routine is similar, my only advantage!! The kids watch a 30 min cartoon to give me time to get dinner on the table. I have to nail it or there is serious pressure for increased cartoonage or someone is actually dying of hunger, which has not happened on my watch, yet. Before diabetes this was accomplished easily, with enough time for a glass of wine to catch the last 5 minutes of Scoo…

Co-parenting a child with type 1 diabetes and hope for a cure

By Nicole

On CNN this morning a 12-year old girl was interviewed who participated in a three-day artificial pancreas project at Mass General Hospital.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/04/health/artificial-pancreas/index.html
For her stay in the hospital, the device monitored her blood sugar every five minutes and administered the insulin needed to correct her number. The girl looked so bright and hopeful about what she had experienced. When Ryan is home from school I know he will love to watch it and he'll be excited about how long it might be until this will be available to him. Part of me is so excited for him to see it and the other part of me hates to get his hopes up not knowing how long it really will be until it's available to him.
This week Ryan has his appointment at Joslin Diabetes Clinic where he goes every couple of months for care. Pat and I both plan to go since this appointment is with his doctor (Dr. Mehta) who always has some excellent insights into Ryan's trend…

The Middle Story-by Nicole

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So many lessons in life and love led to the creation of this blog first published March 2012. Our blog begins in the middle years, not in our married years together, and thankfully, not where we are today. 

Once upon a time, I had chronic pain due to a lifetime of living with scoliosis. I was newly and amicably divorced, with three children, then I had another child out of wedlock within a relationship that was hanging by a thread. My oldest son, had a new onset of type one diabetes, only a couple of years before this time, and it was still so new that it weighed constantly on my mind. I started to write when I found myself parenting for the first time on my own. I was in for a shock when my ex-husband left to work out of state, and my co-parenting life shifted to becoming mom and dad, in-person anyway. We started Imperfect Love, and we both contributed from a distance. Maybe I needed to see my words to believe it was real. People have asked me how I survived. It was my family, my childr…